Sleep. I miss sleep. I was watching the news maybe a year ago and they did a study on what person was the most sleep deprived. Oddly, they came up with college students. What? A college student? Please, we have all been there before. We have been to the bars, the parties, and the football games. We all woke up too hung over to get to class. But guess what, that's a choice. It's a choice to drink on a school night. It's a choice to pull an all nighter to study because you procrastinated for 4 weeks prior. Once you become a parent you start counting down the days your child will sleep through the night. Well I hate to brake it to you, our oldest is 2 and my husband and I still hear her tiny little footsteps running through the house to our bedroom, to quietly look at us waiting for one of us to wake up. Do you think I have a choice to dictate on how my child sleeps? No, unfortunaly I don't. Now add a newborn baby to the mix who wakes up every 3 hours to feed. That has been my life the last 4 month. People will say, "oh well it was your choice to have kids." Yup, you got me there and I would not have done anything differently. My perspective on having kids is if we are going to have more than 1, might as well knock them all out and get this newborn phase over with. But no one told me you just might loose your mind while doing it. I thought I knew my oldest, Olivia. She was calm, easygoing, she started sleeping good, and then she turned 17 month and something happened. Her whole personality changed, she stopped sleeping, and for some reason stopped listening to me. At that point I was already pregnant with Quinn, so to say the least there was no turning back. Olivia has the personality like how your typical 2nd child would act. More than half the day I am protecting my youngest from getting killed. Olivia is jealous, she's aggressive, and pretty much does not understand the concept of time out. Over the past 4 month she has been getting better with Quinn being here but is still a major adjustment for her. I still remember the day Quinn was born and watching Olivia walk into the hospital room. The look on her face will always be imprinted in my mind. I seriously could of cried when I saw her walk in. I can not tell you how worried I was for Olivia before Quinn was born. I did not know how Olivia would take it, I did not know how I could love another baby like how I love Olivia. I truly believed all my love was with Olivia. She was 21 months when Quinn was born, and I promise you can do everything in your power to try your best to prepare your child for a brother or sister, but it will take time. Majority of the situation, I believe is based on the child's personality. Olivia is definitely an attention seeker. Olivia is energetic, determined, feisty, loving, thoughtful, and caring. She knows what she wants and is pretty damn loud when she doesn't get it. Some days I get to see Olivia in such a loving matter. She will kiss, hug and play with Quinn. She will come running into the bedroom yelling, " hi babbbbbbyyyyyyyyyy" in the morning. She truly can't wait until Quinn becomes more mobile so that they can play together. Olivia by far is an amazing big sister. At times when I believe I might loose it she helps me. She will make sure baby is okay by bringing Quinn her pacifier and blanket. When Quinn is fussy, she will say, "baby baba?" And go determinly to the kitchen to help me make Quinn a bottle. I can not wait to see them grow together.
Quinn is my easy baby. I didn't know babies could be this easy. God must of been looking out for me on this one. She is creeping up on 4 month and sleeps through the night. What baby at that age sleeps through the night? She only cries when she's hungry and is pretty much the chillest baby. She is absolutely gorgeous and I try to make her smile all day because her smile is the best. She has these big blue eyes that kind of scare me when she looks at me because they're so piercing. Oh, and does she love her big sister. The way she looks at Olivia is adoring. I was scared about loving Quinn as much as I loved Olivia, I did not possibly know how a heart could hold so much love but oh my, all of my expectations were exceeded. Somehow you love your children for who exactly they are at that time in their life. I know I'll never let my kids down, it doesn't matter how much I have to discipline them. They are destined for greatness and I will do everything in my power to guide them, pick them up dust them off and place them right back on track. Just like my parents did to me. But, until next post, I will probably be changing diapers, picking someones boogers out, or defusing a tantrum.